Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Dreamns (from Original blog )


Posted on 2009.02.27 at 02:44
Life is but a beach chair/ i don't wanna wake up/ 30 odd years without having my cake up.


Personally thats a huge fuckin pet peeve. people who quote rappers like there Plato or Freud. Thats not a shot at hip hop. just annoys me that people don't have anything deep to say. then usually the quotes people take are irrelevent ass hell.

My dreams? my dreams aren't simple. there pretty intricate. my dreams have actually evolved into goals. and from them comes plans. so to truly know my dream. you need to know my plan. what can i expect if i don't have a plan for my life.

At this point of my life, I'm planning to start over.

i want to take getting my education more seriously. i didn't take school seriously. i didn't feel like i was accomplishing anything. like anyone was proud of me. my father didn't call and talk to me. my mom didn't believe i was gonna graduate high school up till the ceremony. i still needed to learn own my own that i need to be the kinda person i'd be proud of. i felt that my parents weren't expressing interest with me because they viewed me as wasted talent. that they made there peace with there disappointment, at least enough not bring it up.

so after awhile of no one expressing interest in my life. family and even strangers faces changing up cause i'm in community college.
faces are screaming

"oh my god!!! you're making a mistake!!!"

"thats not leading to anything!!!"

I knew what i was doing. i was a horrible student in high school. i barely escaped that part of the battle alive. i won that round by decision alone. i had to take the loss and boost my chances of getting into a good college. i went to the local community college to generals. to just learn something and get a better GPA than in high school. alot of people think i coudn't get into the
U of M. i had a 2.0 more or less in high school. i scored a 23 overall on the ACT. i just wanted to get the more for my money. since all i got was the pell grant and it bought a full load at MCTC

it took going in the first place, getting bore, experiencing hardship, falling in love, making mistakes, growing as a person to really be able to take on the original mission.

i want to be a teacher now. i started school as a business major. i want to own something in this lifetime. i grew up without anything. and not that cliche definition. i was so poor as a kid i was ashamed to be seen in my clothes till i bought them myself. i had this dream that i would be financially free. it even evolved into fantasies of waking up in my bedroom with a wall screen in my bedroom. i would wake up and turn it on with the remote keyboard. my board of directors would be conferencing via web cam. I'd be checking my investments. then get out the bed and go and do what i want with the day while they get my money.

then i went into this period where i really wanted to study abroad. figured I'm going in debt over school. might as well throw some travel in too. use it as a vehicle. got into this program where i could do a semester in china. never followed through.

Like Nietzsche said "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity"

my turn to play the fool.

now i wanna teach. i wanna teach abroad. i would really love to teach in Africa or Asia. ok i would love to get paid to live there. I'm kinda bored with my current station in life. i wanna see other place. i wanna meet new people. i want to have friends all over. and i love education. i love to learn. I'm a student of life. i wanna share that with people eager to learn. lets be real. we don't have the most appreciative of students here.

so i'm going back to school this fall. i want to study a foreign language. i used to do Spanish in high school. but the class went too fast for me. i took Quran'ic Arabic. but thats not conversational Arabic.

i wanna learn Japanese. Spanish, Arabic and maybe another language in my life time.

considered enlisting in the Army to be a Linguist..

i also plan on taking a psychology class as well. i'm thinking of minoring in education psychology.

my dream is that i'll get to have some fun when i get back in the rhythm. i know that alot of people want to be teachers abroad. and metro state has an affordable teaching degree. hoping to link up with a few of them. maybe go overseas as a group. or hopefully meet up with people already living the life and networking.

i really need to make this work. my dreams depending on it.

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